To cool things down, I slammed some Jeni’s and Calpico. Fist bumps all around for making it the furthest so far, but I was nowhere close to finishing. This was no doubt that this was absolutely the spiciest dish in Columbus. The sunglasses hid the pain in my eyes, but I couldn’t keep up the ruse. This dish would not defeat me! Or so I thought until about five minutes left. I’m a prideful man and I was going to use the full thirty minutes to my advantage. No more sweat, no more tears or snot, I was on my own. I took a few sips from the edge of the bowl, trying to take down the liquid napalm that sat in the dish. The broth is an abomination made with a tonkotsu base, habanero paste (from their Kara Kapow) and Carolina Reaper paste. With eight minutes left, it was straight broth remaining. My face says happy, but everything else is crying. The spite soup, the vengeance vegetables, the ramen of retribution was created to wreck my world. I laughed, the lady of the farm laughed, the remaining broth laughed. I flew too close to the spicy sun and someone was here to clip my wings. “I had these Carolina Reapers growing and since we were at #14 I figured we needed to punch it up.” I wasn’t sure if I was hallucinating at first, but it sounded like he had made this dish specifically for me. “You put us at #14, I wasn’t going to stand for that.” I asked the ramen creator that had shown me the Fartley Farms site, “why would you make something like this?” It was an evil dish after all. Each slurp of the noodles increased the heat. This was the hottest dish I had ever eaten. I urged people to look away because I was a monster. The lady of the farm had never seen this sort of sweat, or the nose drip. My body had gone into overdrive and all parts were trying to keep me cool. I had put sunglasses on not for Cory Hart irony, but because I didn’t want people to see the tears streaming down my cheeks. After all, I had defeated the Mucho Macho Burrito and downed the Triple Atomic wings with ease. The lady of the farm returned, ready to take pictures for the inevitable victory over the Shinigami Ramen Challenge. I would be the third challenger to take on the Shinigami Ramen.Ĭalm, cool, collected, I sat at the bar, awaiting imminent death. I initialed, signed and dated the doc and returned it, along with a part of my soul. Along with the time constraints it outlined that you could only drink water and are not allowed to leave your ramen at any time. Finish within 30 minutes and the dish itself is free (~$16). If you finish the Shinigami Ramen within 13 minutes, it’s free and you get a $25 gift card to Satori Ramen Bar. What followed was a four-page document that detailed the rules of the challenge. “Yes, I…have to.” After all, who is Ron Fartley if he doesn’t try specially hand-crafted spicy challenges within Columbus? “The spicy ramen challenge please.” No excitement, mostly dread. I approached the register and the gentleman asked what I would like. She went to Jeni’s to get some ice cream for herself and some ice cream for me. Past the slices, how bad could it be? We headed to the North Market for the Reaper Madness and the following is as close to a true account as I can muster.Īs I walked up, the lady of the farm said she’d see me on the other side. “I’ll tuck them into the egg” I naively thought. I spent the day thinking about how I was going to approach this. We make sauces with them, eat wings covered in them and cashews that have Reaper powder, but I had yet to eat a full Carolina Reaper. In my lifetime I’ve managed to never eat a Carolina Reaper whole. From looking at the picture of the ramen, I could tell there were slices of reaper on top of this fiery noodle bowl and I immediately got nervous. A post shared by Satori Ramen Bar is a Japanese God of Death, similar to our Grim Reaper.
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